Welcome to the Castle. Take a tour at your own risk.


CALL CENTER…funny conversations XD

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

:   I’ve been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries, can you help?
Operator:     Where did you get that number from, sir?
Customer:   It was on the door to the Travel Center
Operator:     Sir, they are our opening hours.


Samsung Electronics
:            Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
Operator:     I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.
Caller:            On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?
Operator:      I think you mean the telephone point on the wall.


RAC Motoring Services
:            Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?
Operator:     Doesn’t the product name give you a clue?


Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France) :
“If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?”


Directory Enquiries
:               I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please.
Operator:        I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling correct?
Caller:               Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off.


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:      Woven? Are you sure?
Caller:             Yes. That’s what it says on the label “Woven in Scotland”.


On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

“I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on.”


Tech Support:      I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer:              OK.
Tech Support:      Did you get a pop-up menu?.
Customer:              No.
Tech Support:      OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer:              No.
Tech Support:      OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?.
Customer:              Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.



Tech Support:         OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?
Customer:                  Wow. How can you see my screen from there?


Caller:  I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?.


There’s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause’.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator:         Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?
Caller:                Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.
Operator:         What sort of trouble??
Caller:                Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Operator:         Went away?
Caller:                They disappeared.
Operator:         Hmm So what does your screen look like now?
Caller:                Nothing.
Operator:         Nothing??
Caller:                It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.
Operator:         Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??
Caller:                How do I tell?
Operator:         Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??
Caller:                What’s a sea-prompt?
Operator:         Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
Caller:                There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.
Operator:         Does your monitor have a power indicator??
Caller:                What’s a monitor?
Operator:         It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??
Caller:                I don’t know.
Operator:         Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??
Caller:                Yes, I think so.
Operator:         Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller:                Yes, it is.
Operator:         When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??
Caller:                No.
Operator:         Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Caller:                Okay, here it is.
Operator:         Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.
Caller:                 I can’t reach
Operator:          Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??
Caller:                 No..
Operator:          Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??
Caller:                 Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.
Operator:          Dark??
Caller:                 Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator:          Well, turn on the office light then.
Caller:                  I can’t.
Operator:          No? Why not??
Caller:                 Because there’s a power failure.
Operator:          A power……… A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??
Caller:                 Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
Operator:          Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Caller:                 Really? Is it that bad?
Operator:         Yes, I’m afraid it is.
Caller:                Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??
Operator:         Tell them you’re too f—ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!



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