6 April 2011 – My Life, My Friendship Wreck and Update on 1Step
So the toughest semester of my college life so far has finally ended… on a fairly good note 😛
And I finally get myself to sit in front of the monitor and write to you all.
Pardon me for all the procrastination >_<
Ok, let’s start with what’s going on with my life so far that didn’t allow me much time to write…
I have said once or twice before that this semester of mine was really tough. It’s not just about studying, but also the works, club activities, and potential internship. Things were really harsh on me and I lost myself for a while, big while actually. Not to mention my sucker friendship that ended with “Go to hell!”
We’ll get on that later 😛
I just finished the last semester of Junior year. So I’m unofficially a Senior now. For those of you who know me since the start of One Step At A Time. Congratulations!!! We have known each other for 3 long years now! I’m glad to know all of you 🙂 And for those of you who just pass by, yeah, I’m about to go out and rock the real world now ^o^
I have said before that I’m studying what really isn’t me. But I can’t figure out what I want to do yet. I just KNOW I’m not into business. So though I have a scholarship for Master’s and PhD’s, I’m gonna pass it off. And you can imagine how my parents would say, we had quite an argument. The problem was not about giving up the scholarship, it’s about what will I do next. And since I’m still nowhere about it, they want me to continue the study in this field… But I just know that I can’t live with these stuff for another more year. This semester already told me how suffering I’d be, and this is only the school!
So for those of you who are entering college, make sure you are studying what you have a heart for. Don’t make the same mistake I did.
Move on to the wreck of my friendship.
I have experienced the harshest lesson about friendship this semester. I have ended a friendship with someone whom I always considered BEST FRIEND, with capital B. Now I consider her a BITCH, with capital B.
I have no idea what brought our relationship to this point, but the wreck of it almost killed me.
I’m the type of person that always guard-up. I build walls around myself to protect me from hurting. But with this girl, she convinced me that she’s that one friend, you know? That one girl friend that would stick with you no matter what. The one who can accept you for who you truly are. I believed her, I trusted her, and I bared my naked soul in front of her only to be slapped in the face by my supposed best friend. I let all my guards down because I thought she loves me the way I love her. I thought I’m also her best friend. Obviously, I was wrong. The pain of being hurt by the person you gave your heart to nearly killed me.
I couldn’t forgive her for what she has done to me. And I couldn’t forgive those who took the opportunity to repeatedly worsen the situation and hurt my feelings. I’ve never thought of myself as a spiteful person, but I guess I become one now…
The weird thing is – and I swear it’s the truth – I don’t hate them. I don’t know why, but I just don’t. I may feel disappointed and angered and failed, but I have no hatred towards them. Believe me, if I do, these people will probably be begging for me to just kill them. Coz I’ll make them regret they’re even still living 🙂
I’m a sweetheart. Just as long as you don’t make me hate you.
Now, I know most of you can’t wait for me to talk about One Step At A Time.
When will the next chapter come out? What would happen next? Would I even continue it?
Ok, so Chapter 15 was actually drafted a year ago, but I just don’t have the time and the passion to finish it. And I’m really not sure if I’ll be able to continue the story. So! This is what will happen.
I’m going to post a full summary of One Step At A Time within April (I found out I work better with deadline :P) The summary would surely reveal you all the twists, the mysteries, the secrets and the plots of each sub-plots.
Even if I continue the story later time in the future, I still think it is best for everyone that I post the full summary of it. I hate being cliff-hanger. And I know many of you hate it too. I’m really sorry I couldn’t continue it as of this moment. But I really think I can do it in the future. Just not right now when everything is hitting me from every direction.
So watch out in this summer (Well, it’s summer over here), most likely within April. I’ll post it.
And it’d be super long, I guarantee you. Don’t complain about it then 😀
And just for the record, this is the first time I force myself to write when I’m really in no mood for it what so ever. So really sorry if I’m blabbing too much xD
BTW, I’m mostly active at my Tumblr now. You can follow me there too, though I just post random pics and one-liners… I kinda think I become the Queen of one-liners now. Hahahaha.